omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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