I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
