she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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