Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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