i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dignity is for republicans.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
