sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
