i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
