dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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