hell yes lets make some ravioli
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
