How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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