Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Randomize
