woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
