time to smoke my breakfast
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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