I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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