Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
it's like iHOP with fire
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
