Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
