I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize