So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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