addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
