I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
