official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I woke up under a house in Key West
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