Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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