I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
