Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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