I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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