If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
