R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
