He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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