whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she told me i tasted like america
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
