$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
