if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
