community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize