I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
