please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
my vag is so smooth its legendary
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
