Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize