Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i've created a new STD.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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