Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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