i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
