No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
