Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
