; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize