Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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