have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
my shit smells like andre
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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