all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize