garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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