Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
