Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
