he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
