I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
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