Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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