I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
