What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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