I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize