life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
