Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize