I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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