Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
