so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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