Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
