never play flip cup with pint glasses
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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