I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
