you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
