apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
