trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
