Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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