so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
