Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
