their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
