i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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