Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
