like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
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