Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
3pm strippers are depressing
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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